オウストラリア

My Lil’ Sister And Me XD


I just came back yesterday from visiting my lil’ sister in Australia.

Australian Immigration’s Department = Fucking Pricks With Some Kind of Hard Metal Shoved Up Their Arse.

Well apart from the Immigration’s Department the rest of the visit was splendid. So I have to say I rather liked Australia compared to U.K simply because the atmosphere there is a lot more comfortable for some reason don’t ask me why. It just felt like that.

My lil’ sister is an amazing person, she goes to university for lectures, meetings etc at around 9am and came back round 5pm, took me out round places in Sydney until 11pm then she sleeps for about 2 hours then wakes up and studies till 5am sleeps again until she wakes up again at exactly 8am to get ready to go back to university to repeat what she did yesterday. I asked her if she was tired she only replied that she can manage to stay within that pattern for a week after which she would need to rest for a whole day to rest. I have never in my whole life put as much effort as she does into my studies; I guess that’s why she always succeeds with flying colours in her exams and I don’t.

~Sudden Need To Change~

The whole week I was there in Australia, she made an effort to bring me places and show me all the interesting places that she thinks would be a must for me during my visit. So those places were Darling Harbour, The Opera House, Sydney Tower, Coogee (Pronounced Ku-ji) Beach, Bondi Beach, Taronga Zoo and the many nice eating places for us to go to for sungkai XD.

Pepper Lunch

That was what I had for sungkai that one time, I know it’s a weird name the Pepper Lunch Restaurant but it was a nice meal.

Pepper Lunch Sydney

~Suddenly Missing My Lil’ Sister Again~

ただいま

I am back for good this time until the next time they send me back to sea. I didn't really post much here during my 4 months at sea, internet's crappy.

An Unwanted Visitor (07.07.08)

The so called "Engineering Expert For The Internet From the Supplier" came on board the ship to fix the internet, and caused the ship’s only connection to the outside world to be reduced to oblivion. “Someone tempered with the hardware” I quote he said. I say “No shit Sherlock how did you figured that out?” his was up there from 8am in the morning till 5pm in the evening trying to fix the damn thing instead he manages to totally fuck it.

Then the captain send an e-mail to them asking for another engineer to come onboard to try and fix the f**king problem which they had caused us, they replied us with some 5 paragraphs of flowery words which in the ends spells “Fuck off we are busy” period. You learn how to read between the lines after awhile on board the ship. Reports “He has potential” = “His not working hard enough”. In case of the replied they sent back to us back then it was “Fuck off we are busy”.

~Pissed Off Due To Some Fucktard’s Mistake”

今の僕は (15.07.08)

The me now, understands perfectly that everybody has their own problem, whatever bad things I have said in the engineering department I must take back. People are govern by their emotional status, some take more time than other to adjust to the environment of the ship; even though they have had many years of experience on board.

My 2^nd Engineer is having a hard time here on board himself, his missing his wife and kids badly, his mother in law whom he was really close to passed away almost a month ago he was not able to attend her funeral. The fact that his office fucked him from going back home is a really upsetting experience for himself and the rest of the engineering team here on board the S.S. Belanak. This coming Japan his is going to go home hopefully, he needs the rest. (He didn't go home though that Japan, the office peepz fucked him again. Fucking Pricks).

~Right here floating, Right here rotting~

My current Chief Engineer is a person who’s actually a good person but people here on board seems to misunderstand him most of the time. His people’s skills are not the best that you could find around but inside he is a really sensitive person. He can’t stand idle he needs to be working; I understand now why he is the Chief at such a young age. My thanks to both the Chief and the 2^nd.

~Escapism = Work, Work = Escapism here on board~

I once heard that T.V was way to escape reality, here on board its work for me. The more I work the less I remembered that I was on board. The less I remembered the more I forgot about being away from home, the more I forgot about being far away from home the less I miss my family. The less I miss my family … the less I miss my family.

~Workaholic in the making~

悩み。。悩みか

For these past few weeks life has been both bearably uneasy while at the same time satisfactory. One day I feel reluctant to do work another I feel utterly thrilled at what I would be able to learn from this experience. I managed to fuck up the water tanks exchange perfectly with a 100% score, for once in my life I managed to really fuck something up so bad it was unbearably painful. I am though thankful to god for this opportunity to be someone responsible instead of the usual irresponsible me.

Any work for anyone might end up being ridiculously meddlesome filled with the most uninviting individuals a person could ever imagine. Fortunately for me the number of those kinds of people seem to be minimal, my Chief Engine is saturated with experience that he can be termed as a walking dictionary of the whole engine room system, my 2^nd Engine are governed by the winds happy one moment upset the next but anyone could be like him, my 3^rd Engine is a person filled up with ego up in every cell of his body yet still pleasantly approachable when it comes to questions and last but not least my 4^th Engine is the regular friendly, no worries carefree person. My respects to these individuals that nurse the ship so that it stays afloat above these damn waters are unbelievably high. For that I am grateful to all of the Engineering Officers on board.

The spot light goes to the cadet who does not know shit about ships (he realized) once he stepped his god forsaken foot on board the floating vessel, its people and its culture. I realized that people who work on the ship are the type of people that says fuck as if it was a proper connecting word or any other normal verb in everyday English Language; the word “fuck” is utterly essential every time they need to form a sentence which is grammatically correct in a seamen book of English Literature.

“Fucking take the fucking measurements of the fucking tanks at the fucking stern tube tank and fucking notice if there is any fucking change in the fucking value of the fucking oil level” Quoted from the Chief Engine.

Now the sentence above is the most harmonically, grammatically correct sentence one could ever find on board the vessel S.S Belanak. Fucking believe me when I fucking say that all of this fucking information about the fucking ship is utterly fucking true. If I was to count all of the fucking fucks involved in my fucking daily work routine I would probably fucking lost count of the fucking number of the fucking fucks that exists in the fucking marine engineers’ everyday fucking conversation.

Anyone knows the expression “Your turn to be in the barrel” which means that it is your turn to be fucked up real good. Apparently the old barrels in the old days had one hole in it. Putting someone in it closing the lid and then people shoving their fucking dick in the fucking hole and getting blow jobs lol. So yes it means you are totally fucked for causing a total fuck up of a totally dynamic system. I realized after I worked here that discipline and good working habits are the key to having a successful career within the Marine Engineering community. Some simple task could really result in an unimaginable consequence. Every little piece of machinery on board this 35 years old beauty is connected in some ways directly or indirectly to each other, you fuck up one machinery you fuck up a whole lot of other essential machineries on board. Chain reaction.

I have also learned that to be the HOD of a fucking department on board a fucking vessel with a fucking slow cadet on board is no walk in the park for the senior officers, for this I really appreciate their patience towards me.

~ Intoxicatingly Full of Fun This Job Tis ~

Finally I am Home XD

After all this while I was away, I finally got here. Feels better to be home, feels better cause it is my home. I love this place, sleeping in your own bed, seeing fimiliar faces, talking to people you know. I love this place. This place called home.

Last night was my first home made meal in a long long time, my mom's a good cook its just sometimes she malas hehehe. Can understand why wont blame her but its still as great as ever the cooking and I still prefer home cooked meals rather than restaurants' food or fast food. Home cook meals the best. Her cooking is the best.

Didn't really think much about anything else when I got back hehe. Just that I was happy to be with my family. Hehe.

A Long Long Dream.

今回はすべて日本語で。

僕の日本語は今、多分あまり好くない～でもがんばります。久しぶり先生に日本語を話しませんだから多分も～ダメじゃ僕の日本語は。どうするな～？

来週も帰ります。好いな～ブルネイへ帰るに。誰も分からないぞ～多分今回の言葉。でもそれが僕に好いと思う。僕の友達たち誰一人も日本語の話せないんだから、今の僕の日本語は多分ダメか知らないんです。

帰りたいな～。今所はすべて退屈することばかりだから。。嫌だ。会いたい、僕の家族とか恋人とか先生とか、ブルネイの友達たちとか。皆に会いたい。お仕事をためにか。お金のためにか。

今年の九月に僕の友達、中国から着ました多分イギリスに行きます。彼女は多分ロンドンで勉強します。“オクスフォド”で勉強する。。。マスタのために。好かったな。彼女は好くがんばった。女の人は働き者と頭が好いんですね。僕はあまり働き者じゃないんだからここまでも僕のすべてでがんばった。へへへ。ダメじゃこれが。叱ったないな～僕は。

だから美奈子先生。。。心配をするな。でもな先生僕はも諦めないね。約束をする必ずエンギニヤになる。

好い。。。僕は久しぶり日本語でブログを書きました。好かったな～。好い気持ち～凄いと思う。お祈りにする、日本語ヲ上手になる。お神－さまに。

僕の恋人に。。。僕は何時までも君に愛してるよ～。。。愛してるよ～

何かな～今回?

yesterday at 1800 hrs we had our company meeting the new person who handles our affairs from the company ain't half as bad as i thought he was, at the beginning. he answered all of the questions we threw at him and he made note of the questions he is unsure of. next i just need to see if the answers to that questions are going to really come on friday. i'd hate to find out that his just all talk and no action. those type of people really gets on my nerve.

All Talk No Actions Is Unappealing.

as usual my day when by without anything interesting going on in it. i saw one of the Caucasian crying whilst walking over my way. i avoided facing the person, simply because i think it was better for that person since i don't think that person would want me to see he/she while he/she was crying. weird for a society which takes pride in being independent and likes to project their strength to others, these Caucasian which are around me seemed at times; rather fragile. i reckoned that they'd be more tough, just me stereotyping people i guess i should stop this habit.

A Book Judged By It's Cover. A Mistake.

when i was in my sociology class a long time ago in UBD. my lecturer who was a German asked me if i liked globalization, his a critical person he likes to see what we the students think. and i knew that; with what we think he could try and understand our culture more. his an interesting character, any culture he studies he would "fall in love" with it. the culture i meant. when to Egypt for several years he fell in love with the culture; with that the religion, he embraced my religion knowing that it was a lot stricter than his own religion at that time, if ever he did had one. and he likes it. my respects to him.

i had never fell in love with any culture that i had seen, i was intrigued by them but never fell for them at least i think i didn't. complex. "Ethnocentric" is what they call people like me, one of my friends back then in the class strongly dislike the type of person i was. it didn't bother me back then it doesn't bother me now. she wanted me to be unaffected by my own culture. i find that impossible. lol.

"Ethnocentrism" is the tendency to look at the world primarily from the perspective of one's own culture.

one could say that u could not totally understand other culture by using your own culture to observe them.i beg to differ; tell me which one person in this world would dare to say that their very own culture does not in one bit effect their perspective of the world? of other culture?

could a person be totally "unchained" from the very culture that they were raised in to totally be unbiased in their judgement? their observation? i base my everyday decision on my perspective of the situation, by my perspective it is my way of thinking, the same way of thinking that was planted in me ever since i was small in accordance to my Malay culture. it is what i am now. it is what i am. it is my culture which is me. which represent me. my culture. my not so pure culture. my culture none the less.

haha. my "not so pure culture" a lovely way of putting it. i'd love to see how a Malay was several hundred years ago with their "close to pure Malay culture" without wearing this jeans, this watch, this spectacle, speaking this fake English accent, this cheap t-shirt
and typing here on this laptop.
how would i turn out to be without all this influences hanging over my current culture. the state that it is now, "Not So Pure".

people could and they would place judgement on my comments here. hehe. don't matter i am not that thick to not know that i might be wrong about this, to say that my culture is "Not So Pure".

i do accept the fact though that all this (changes to my culture) is inevitable, i myself is the prove to this every evolving culture of mine. sitting here typing writing a blog. a new addition to my current Malay culture. although i'd say that this is one of the "Global Culture" which is growing. as interested as i am to see the Malay several hundreds years ago i'd love to see the Malay several hundred years in the future. if there is going to be any Malays left. i pray what he said was true. Hang Tuah the Malaysian.

"Tak Kan Melayu Hilang Di Dunia."

did he meant to imply the Melayu (Malay) religion "Islam" or was it Melayu as in the Malay race. for me its Malay = Islam = Malay = Islam, makes no difference as to my understanding Malays are Muslims.

I'd Hate To See My Beautiful "Not So Pure" Culture Disappear.

However Ridiculous It's State Is In.

I Are Ethnocentric. U All Is ?

ロンドン

London was never fun for me. the city was just too intense packed with too much ... err i dun know. but yea its packed be it people, attitudes different things differently. some people enjoy it i don't know why.

was staying at Brunei hall ... ironically i don't mean it to be a racist statement; but ironically the most friendly people that i have met there was Malaysian. for some reason they seemed to be a lot more simmered down compared to the Bruneians that live in Brunei hall. sad. i know but a few in Brunei hall most of which are friendly people, the rest ... sad to say are rather judgemental towards u. for what reasons i don't seem to know and i don't seem to care. i think to myself its not my lose that i don't make friends with that kinda crowd. rather i am thankful that those that are close to me i mean really close to me are nice people.

Lovely People Both Inside And Out.

for those who are hypocrites i would distance myself from them. but its rather sad tho to see your own countrymen placing stares at you without even considering giving a smile, a token of courtesy. i don't know if it is right to say that they think that by being here in UK; they had gain the right to brag about it. sad people they are. hehe. i pray to god that he'd save me from turning into that kinda person. at first i thought that this kinda things is not even worth writing in a blog lol. but heck its just for the fun of it.

This Place Is Still As Boring As Ever.

as i expected my own country is still the best. close to those i love.

Yearning To Be Close To Those I Love.

これはこれ、あれはあれ

today i didn't really do much. slept. woke up. chatted then listen to music. bored to death here in warsash. lol

don't know when to start packing up. maybe next week. i can't wait to get back home.

帰りたい。

Somethings Are Just Too Plain. Lolz

映画とドラマとアニメだな。

didnt really do much today. slept through the day, during the night i was watching my newly finished anime till it was finish. planning to sleep soon. here are some of my recently seen animez the best one is seto no hanayome. an anime about a boy who had to get married with a mermaid ... pretty funny anime i love it ... the humour level in it is amazing hehe. muvm syn. siong ngi all the time syn.

"seto no hanayome"

a part of the series



then there is the few dramaz that i love ... fantasy couple another one would be engine. both really good dramaz.

"Engine"




"fantasy couple"

i just love comedy .... makes me feel less home sick .. missing people too much ... luvm syn.

A Feeling Too Deep To Describe.

僕の友達のブログ

one of my friends blog has a video of the place i stay in .... its at nite tho ... cant really see much its enough. u dun see much in warsash newayz kekeke.

just posted the vid here to let u guyz see warsash....

今日の事

今日

today finally i got to chat with my lp for quite a while. hhsn syn. ngai hau hau siong ngi syn. probably only me and my lp can understand the hhsn bit. hehe.

after that i when to my friends room to shisha ... got dizzy. i swear that thing makes me go dizzy all the time. so i when back to my room and slept.

夢....夢....夢か.

(taken from http://www.worldofwarcraft.com/info/encyclopedia/394.xml)

dreamt about something .. i cant remember what. its the 1st time i ever dreamt of anything in a very long time. these years ... i slept a dreamless sleep. no dreamz what so ever, it might sound strange for some people but yeah ... haven't had any dream for a while now. i think it was because i had so much on my mind.


then it was waking up ... followed by poker and now here. blogging.

Competition Is It Human Nature? I Hate It.

記憶 (Memories)

Someone special to me took these pics

"海豚湖/Iruka Mizuumi Japan"

these pics where taken at in Nagoya. lovely scenery and a lovely place to be in. really relaxing .... love that place.


"Aichi Banpakku 2005"




Shigeru Mizuki Sensei's shop. he said that one of the thing that connected the different cultures in Asia would be the believe in the existence of the supernatural. some cultures might brush this off as some joke, i myself do not believe in the supernatural world i do not think it exists. as i had never seen anything of such nature in my whole life. although the time he spent within the massive jungle in Indonesia made him saw what he thought to be a similar apparition to that of the Japanese myths; this convinced him that the tie that bounds the S.E.Asian culture to that of the Japanese culture would be the supernatural world. thus he decided after World War II to produce a comic series of such nature. GeGeGe no Kitaro the name of the comic. it depicted all of the different kinds of "Nihon no Obake/Japanese Ghost or Demons". the concept, i find rather interesting. i made an effort after that to understand the similarities between the two. i found his claims are true. Japanese and Malay ghosts are rather similar in nature.

A Good Finding I Think


some other pics i must have left behind in Brunei. Arashiyama was another beautiful place that i when to, its a pity that i could not show it here ... certain memories are really valuable to us.

An Eye Opener. Liberation.

A Dreamer ... But Never Alone.

Sash の生活 (Life in Sash)

退屈すること.


don't know how to blog but will blog newayz just bcos this place is boring.


違う事 .


there was a difference between this place and what i'd imagined it to be. UK is not as fun as what i'd thought it to be. the only "plus" which is offered by UK is the difference in culture. i am a "culture freak" always wanting to experience other culture as oppose to just seeing it.


面白い


every since i joined sociology and anthropology class in UBD i fell in love with the notion culture. my lecturer once said that to understand other culture would actually make u understand urs more. i decided there n then to try and experience other culture apart from mine to make me understand mine more.

although i find myself more and more confuse now. nevertheless i am satisfied. there comes a point in life when u are opened towards other people's idea, understanding and culture; that u'd just accept it without judging it comparing it with urs, judging whether its right o wrong to do this or that had never occured to me. all of the mixture of feelings u get. wonderful.

なぜ語。

languages ..... is another one of my passion. i don't know when it started but i started to speak Mandarin\Hakka when i am with my Chinese friends, my mother tongue when i am with my Malay friends, English with my British friends and Japanese with my Japanese friends. off all the languages that i speak at the moment the one foreign language i love speaking the most is Japanese language.

i don't know whether it might be the "toriton" cartoon that i always watched when i was as little as 4 years old taking care of my little sister whose still on her wheels still learning how to walk; asking her to stay put and watch the nice cartoon together with me. or was it all the anime in ubd. it doesn't matter .... i love the language. as much as i love my own.

the similarities between the two languages are so much that i dare to say that a Malay could learn the language in less than a year flat ... to actually speak the language properly.

自分の世界。

my world now in sash revolves around having spice, shisha and other stuffs which aren't really accepted i think in my culture. melting pot comes to mind. experimentation ... certain things we shouldn't start. smoking is one of them. drinking the other. i stopped drinking i think.

会いたかった。ほんとに会いたかった。

that line's always on my mind. 3 weeks to go i guess. spent time a while with my family then its the sea. i love going off to sea. the last time i was there people laughed at me cos i said i love going off to sea. they made fun of me as if it was a joke but it wasn't. its amazing. simply amazing.

many times i sat down next to the sea to clear my mind. the sea was a lot like life i guess. calm sometimes, rough the other. tranquil yet unforgiving.

旅

a journey ... begins here ... haven't got a clue where it ends.


お神－さま。。。勇気をくだいさい.

なぜ僕はここにいるんだる？